It crept up on us and before we knew it, it was Bambi's last day in Sydney. We decided to spend it in the city shopping until our faces melted and our arms had fallen out of their sockets.
Jumper / Cotton On
T-shirt Dress / Topshop
Headpiece / Sportsgirl
Shoes / Windsor Smith
Socks / Topshop
Bag / Topshop
My new favourite lipstick ever! Ravishing by M.A.C.
At the end of the day our arms were aching and our bank accounts were extremely lower then when we started. It was the last time Bambi would be in Sydney city.
That night we spent packing and drinking our favourite red wine. Sassie (my dog) has bad experiences of suitcases, she knows that it always means someone is leaving. Thats why she looks so upset in the photo.
My dog has her ways of making people stay.
Forever Yin and Yang
Our last train ride together was spent freaking out because we knew we would be late. It was a really early flight.
So we did miss our flight. The next flight was the next day at the same time. So B just decided to buy another ticket over the effort of taking all her luggage home and back again. The flight was booked in for 10am, meaning we had a good few hours to spend together.
We went shopping at Victoria's Secret and ate Crispy Cremes. #fitspiration
Then we sat being idiots, playing the penis game and taking silly photos on our film cameras. Our ticket had gate number 37 printed on it and thats where we were sitting forever. Turns out we were meant to be at a different gate, so we pretty much nearly missed her second flight that day. But we made it, we had to run through the airport with all of her carry on luggage flying around. Bambi was the last person to get on the flight. We were able to get a video of us saying goodbye to eachother.
After four years of being pen pals through tumblr we had finally met. She came into my life like a whirlwind and then she was gone. It was as if I had finally found that piece of myself that I was always missing, the other half of my soul. She is my best friend. And I wish more then anything that she had never left. Ever since she did I have been such a mess. Hence why it has taken so long for me to do these posts.
I have lost all motivation. And I constantly just feel empty. All I can think about is that I have no idea where I am going in life and stepping back and looking at the big picture really terrifies me. I keep having the odd message here and there from someone who really loves my blog and thinks my life is so great and that I am an "inspiration". I want you to know that its not easy. People will read my blog and think wow her life looks like so much fun, but thats because I don't write the hard things because they hurt and I don't want other people reading those kind of things. People read things like blogs to be happy not sad. I have had people ask me about Uni and College and asking me for advice, when in the end I am as lost as they are. What people do forget to ask is "are you ok?". Three simple words.
Bambi, I am sorry I have been so distant. And I'm sorry it took me so long to finish these blog posts and that I still haven't finished the video. I just really miss you and I need you here. Being with you made me feel so alive and free. And I just want to live my whole life like that, not just on holidays. Come to Sydney. I need to find a new job too, so thats something we can do together. Lets go to Melbourne and run out of money and laugh about it because we are idiots. And we will hitchhike back to Sydney and have crazy adventures, and find hippie camps, and pick apples for money/ food, and go to markets, and rescue kittens, and swim in the ocean, and play with fireworks and go horse riding on the beach and sleep under the stars. And just have adventures everyday.
B, come to Sydney. Lets get a job at the same place. At least then if it sucks we wont care because we can make it fun. We will make saving jars and put in a little bit of money everyday. And one day we will open our eyes in a hotel room and go look out the window and have the New York Skyline smiling back up at us.
The world is ours to explore, it just seems so far away.
Love you B, forever and a day.