End of 2015

I don't really want to look back at 2015 with anger or sadness. I would rather concentrate on the good things to come in the New Year and of course remember and cherish the happy times. No point in holding on to things that hurt. Let go or be dragged. Here are some highlights from the last months of 2015.

$16 for all of these!

When books speak to your very soul.

The month of beautiful sunsets

Mejico for Lani's Birthday. This was a pretty epic lunch deal, I think it was only $15 each!

Forever playing dress up in American Apparel on my Uni breaks.

I couldn't not buy this baby. 7kg lighter after this asshole of a month. Lost some butt, boobs and a couple of friends but in the end you just got to treat yo self

My friends and I decided last minute to cook a Friendsgiving meal. Due to our schedules dinner began painfully late and although we only ended up eating at 11:30pm I still think we did a pretty damn good job. All the main elements were there turkey (albeit frozen turkey from woolies that I don't think we cooked fully), potatoes, macaroni and cheese (that we overcooked into a mash of some sort) and of course pumpkin pie.

This was my first time trying Pumpkin pie. It was nice but damn America, you really know how to ruin a perfectly good vegetable by adding 300 buckets of sugar.

Turkey sleepy feels.

Mum and I attended the Ballet. It was my first time and I won't lie it was quite terrible. There wasn't any plot or story it was just confusing contemporary choreography to matching confusing music. Would not see again. Still keen to check out something like Swan Lake or the Nutcracker, but no more contemporary Ballet for me.

Hazelhurst Art Gallery Cafe outdoing themselves. Fruit toast and corn fritters never looked so delicious.

And this work of art stack of ricotta pancakes, almost too good to eat!

New book, sprouted bread with avocado and the works.

And now to the bad stuff. I ended up in hospital a couple of times around the end of the year. I am only mentioning it to keep my blog as honest as possible. People tend to sugarcoat their lives online and as it's all well and good to highlight the good but you can't ignore the bad. This was visit one. 

And this was visit two. I am a lot better now I think. Well I am working on it. Sadly after this happened I lost my two best friends Saya and Yol. I wasn't myself at the time and they basically just didn't want to stick around. I could give them the benefit of the doubt but in reality what they did was leave me when I was at my lowest and I can't really forgive them for that. Especially after everything that I did for them over the years.

A month or two after losing Luke, and my two best friends I also lost my first car. Bad things come in threes. I had my first accident and in all honesty it scared the shit out of me at the time. I was going around 80km trying to merge and when I looked forward I had a split second to brake. There was an L plater driving in front of the 4x4 in front of me who decided that coming to a complete stop in an 80km merging lane was a logical decision. Thank god I had some form of reflexes or it could have been a lot worse then it was.

This was the only damage that happened to the 4x4 in front of me which was a relief. After it happened the people in the car in front had to pretty much pull me out of my smoking car because I was still in shock. As soon as I got out of the car and realised what happened I had the most intense panic attack I have ever had. It took a fair while to calm down. 

This was the baby I learnt to drive in. I shared the car with my dad so we only have 1 car between  mum, dad and myself. It was pretty horrible and it really shook me up. I wasn't in pain that day but the next day I could barely move my neck I had really bad whiplash. It only lasted a couple of days though thankfully. 

Trying really hard to pretend I am ok with everything that has happened but it really breaks my heart looking back and writing about everything. The funny thing is the person I miss the most is Saya. She was the closest thing I had to a sister and it really hurts thinking how little she cared about me this whole time. It hurts more how much I still care despite everything that has happened.

Spending my time now concentrating on getting through uni and planning my overseas travels next year. Staying positive and what not.

This Christmas I put all my energies into being the jolliest little elf I possibly could.

And in between studying and playing Santa's elf I cheered myself up by... 

...playing dress up at H&M

...bikini shopping at Cotton On.

...cuddling my baby

...working out

...taking the kids for walks

..and giving my kisses to the ones who deserve them.

I lost 8kg in 2 months and so far it has stayed off. Now I am just trying to be as healthy as possible.

My beautiful high school friend of nearly 10 years Hannah got engaged to her high school sweetheart and I could not be happier for them!! Such a perfect couple.

As I said before, this Christmas I got hella ho ho ho and decked the halls like you would not believe! I even bought my first Christmas jumper. It is from missguided and I am obsessed with it!

This was my adorable Christmas Eve get up. I got well into it this year. No shame.

I had Lani and Rick over for dinner and this was my ridiculously massive present from Rick.

I had such a wonderful Christmas. Rick and Lani and I celebrated our Friendmas by exchanging our gifts and then playing Simpson's themed board games with my cousin. It was a pretty wonderful Christmas and I really am so lucky to have such wonderful souls in my life. They have put up with so much and I could not be more grateful to them.

Had a lovely Christmas Day in bed with baby fox and an amazing Polish apple salad food coma. For Christmas mum bought me plane tickets to Melbourne so I can spend New Years Eve with my babygirl Paige. All the best for the New Year. Much love always.